August 16, 2020
It has been a strange time in Delaware, USA, where I live. Several thunderstorms and tornadoes, trees down all over the place, road closures, flooding, damage to people’s homes and properties, and power and internet outages. I feel fortunate that we are safe, just without internet. I went to a café to try and work on my email for this week, and I was really struggling. Feeling more disconnected that I have felt in a long time, the messages were not coming clearly to me.
Trying to figure out what was going on, I realized it was more than just the storms that have me unsettled. I’m blazing new territory, and as often happens when stepping out of our comfort zones, fear has bubbled up. As I continue to hone my skills to be of most service to the world, I am taking a mediumship course to learn how to help people connect with their departed loved ones. I am also taking a course called “Lightworker School” to improve my channeling abilities, expanding my skills to connect with more guides and angels and be able to discern more clearly the source of the messages. As if that weren’t enough…lol, I’m taking a course on spiritual emergence coaching. I think of author and activist Glennon Doyle who says, “We can do hard things.”
After writing a book and channeling messages for well over a year now, I felt like my connection to spirit was quite strong. These new courses have started me doubting my abilities again and wondering if I am living in a fantasy land to think I can make a career as an author and a channel. A friend told me about imposter syndrome—“an individual doubts their accomplishments or talents…despite external evidence of their competence.” (Wikipedia). Sounds about right. Old fears and stories that I need to have a “stable” job to take care of myself rise to the surface. I wonder, “Am I being rash?” “Am I thinking things through?” And, oh yeah, “Am I making a huge mistake?”
Then I REMEMBER WHAT IT FEELS LIKE to receive these messages and to hear feedback from others how much these words of peace, comfort, and wisdom mean to them, and I KNOW IN MY HEART that I am following the path I am meant to go down.
My friend Lisa said she had read something recently that Tony Robbins says we always think of the “What ifs” in terms of what can go wrong, and we should start to think about the “What ifs” in terms of what could go right!
And my friend Susan reminded me of one her favorite poems:
“There is freedom waiting for you.
On the breezes of the sky.
And you ask, “What if I fall?”
“Oh, but my darling, what if you fly?”
So, I’m doing what I do when I feel scared…reaching out for support, from both the spirit and earthly realms. I scheduled an appointment with my therapist and with a dear friend and spiritual mentor. I started telling some trusted friends about my fears (hence the stories above!) and shed a few tears when they affirmed that I CAN DO THIS!
Then, I saw this quote, (surely a sign!): “God is not in a hurry. You are. It’s why you’re anxious, and stressed, and disappointed. Trust that what was meant to be yours, will be yours.”
With the all the changes in the world at the moment, and many trying to find their path and purpose and meaning in difficult circumstances, I felt this story might be timely. Hopefully, I’ll be back next week with a new channeled message. I am trusting that it will happen again when the time is right!
Have a wonderful week! Wishing you peace, joy, and angel blessings😊